Monday, April 09, 2007

Simple Revelations

My need to nurture the world is my revelation for this week. Owning other people’s happiness has been killing me, figuratively and literally. This mass is next to my heart where I hold close my misguided responsibility to the world. Thank God I am not Jesus! I’ve just been confused as to my role with other people’s needs and emotions.

If you are really eager to give, it isn't important how much you are able to give. God wants you to give what you have, not what you don't have. 2 Corinthians 8:12

Duh! I have been giving eagerly, but from what I don't have. Now I can give from a truly generous place, while I learn what I have and what I don't have. I'm also figuring out how to change the way I process and recognize when to get away and recognizing other peoples ownership of their emotions. Mine, not mine.

I’m very receptive. I’ve found that I feel the emotions for Lawrence for instance. He had a project due early Monday, and was feeling overwhelmed so he was headed up for a nap. I found myself completely overwhelmed with him leaving our family space. I was feeling despair, and suddenly realized, “I stay home with my kids alone all the time. This is not a big deal.” That’s when I realized I was tapping in on Lawrence’s feelings, not my own. A little out there, but if the shoe fits! Getting a mass in your body is a bit out there too:-o My body’s way of screaming at me, “You have to change some things, NOW!!!

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